Fucking life!!

I am sorry I haven't written for too long! To be honest I just haven't written because I even don't have will to do it...
I HATE London the most of the times. So... everyone will make the question: why are you not going away? The answer is simple: I don't have other place where to go... I mean... I don't want to start everything again or go back to a place where I already was. So... I am just stayng here and try to get use to it. Because the truth is that I also hated Newcastle when I arrived there... and even Barcelona when I was working there. So... the conclusion is that the problem is not the place but the problem is just me and this horrible migrant life... I mean the job... the house, the non existence of money! I am looking for a new job everyday and attending to some interviews but Fucking Hell... they want me bubbly and entusiastic about the most fucking shit jobs that you can imagine. Can you believe that I went to an interview where they asked me: "Are you passionated about food", "Do you love cooking?". Of course my face was not vibrant of entusiasm and the guy said in a bit: "Ohh... don't tell me.. I can see in your face... I thibk this job is not for you". I just replied " But is it a kitchen job? I though was for to be just bartender" and he said: "Yes... but you should love food because it's what you will sell..." Como on!! Who loves so much food??? Just fucking fat people!
In other one they asked me: "Do you know that it is part of your job clean the toilets? how do you feel about that?" What do they expect? Maybe that I said... "YEAHHHH, I LOVE CLEAN TOILETS... IT'S MY FAVOURITE JOB... GIVE ME TOILETS... I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOILETS"
I am quite tired to be honest... and I can't even think that it will be my life. I really fell that the workers don't have any kind of rights... they are just treated as objects... like me in my job... Sometimes I just feel in the shop window. I have to wait for costummers and smile... always smile and be polite and be stoped when some costummer doesn't stop to look at my ass... be quiet when my boss is shouting at me speaking as he would speak with a donkey.
At least now I have a reason to be here: I am creating a performance with Pedro. We have already almost all structure and we'll start the rearsalls really soon. After that we'll try to sell it and go to some festivals. I think the idea is fucking great and if well done can in stage for long time. Pedro has some contacts because he is working in Battersea arts centre so he says that it would be really easy to produce it. I hope so! I can't wait for performing again... even if I kind of scared because I haven't done it for ages... I even don't know how to move anymore! Pedro the same! But I believe we will be fine! We have to.