Great expectations

About myself:

The ephemerity is the most constant of life… actually is what defines the life word. And if I am aware that my life is just a lot of fugacious moments I believe is it the only truth in what I can believe. Even if some times I hate it and I want fight against it, as every single human who have already been alive always have done, I feel that my body is constantly attracted and manipulated by the wish of live every moment at all… as it never will have an end… even if I know it will has. When that moment is finished I always cry… I feel a contraction in my stomach until the next special moment arrives and everything starts again. Sometimes the moment is really different, sometimes it is just the same than the previous but with one or two different elements in a different order.

My best friends always say that I am a very intensive person and that’s why is so difficult to deal with me. Because all my obsessions, my passions, my interests, my pains… it is like I always have to push everything to the limit. And if you do it, if you try to push something to the limit it will inevitably die… fast, really fast. Sometimes I think there is something inside of me that make me kill everything what I live because I want every moment at maximum… and it has a price, the price of the changing.  Move to another place, for example. Go to a place, and after to another place and dream about the next place, the next life, the next time, the next people, the next beginning…

I just wish one day I will find my really place.

 

 

Why go to London?

 

When someone minds is lost the most of the people desires find their self. I don’t believe in find myself… maybe because I don’t believe I can be just a person… I don’t believe someone is just a only person. I really believe in the creation as the most wonderful thing in the human condition… so I want believe in a new creation of myself, in the human fiction and specifically in a new starting… That’s right that if I want believe in it I am not really sure about… but I really believe that if my mind is lost I need be physically lost too. I need my body lost!

I wish London is an island where my mind will be able to become empty and my body defragmanted of tiredness. I hope it will be an island where I will have to survive, where I will loose the awareness about the person that I am and always is pursuing me.

It is probably an utophy and I know it…

 

What is London?

 

London is the world in just a city. It is a place where I can know a bit of each part of the earth society. I can be in China and go in South America in half an hour by tube, where I can have lunch in the Turkish restaurant in Kilburn and go to Portugal for dinner… get in the restaurant and listen and speak my language, see the moustache’s men, drink pineapple Sumol, eat bacalhau à braz and feel at home.

London is the city which never sleeps.

London is the place where I can see the movie, the show I want to before than the most of people in the world.

London is Tate Modern every Sunday where I can watch Joseph Beyes, Marcel Duchamp and Polock

London is the place where I can sit near the Globe or look Garrick Theatre and remember my history of theatre lessons.

London is the place where I can be assaulted, where I can be muredered

London is the place where I will meet the travesty friend with whom I always dreamt

London is the expensive city where probably I will kill myself working for pay my bills.

London is the fashion city where I can dress or not what I want.

London was where I saw the weirdest women in all my life… in the tube with eagle nails and hat shaped hair.

London is Camden Town.

London is the only place in England where I can’t speak whatever I want in Portuguese because always there is a Brazilian person near by.  

London is the Persian supermarket where I tasted those undescribible cakes.

London is the place where every day the tube stops in the middle of the way because someone died under it.

London is…