Desperated people

My theory about relationships in London has been slowly confirmed during all this time I’ve been living here but, finally, today I had the most absolutely proof that I am completely right: Every single person who lives here is desperated to find someone able to share their room’s rent but also love, sex or just company and affections.
Every day a different guy comes to speak with me in the street, at work, in the supermarket, wherever. They ask me directly where I am from and if I am single… after that they ask for my phone number. First I just decided don’t give mine and keep theirs… Now I just had decided to pretend I have a boyfriend…
I just will try to reproduce two conversations with two different guys I had met. I won’t make any comment… It doesn’t need it… they are already strong enough.

1º - It’s Sunday morning. I am working. A middle-aged looking guy comes and asks for a beer. I give him a beer. He asks about my nationality. Then he goes away.
He comes back during the afternoon. Asks for a beer and then:

Guy – So… are you working tomorrow?
Me – No... actually tomorrow I free… I don’t work
Guy – Maybe would you like to go for a drink?
Me (without know what to reply) - Ahh… I guess I’ll be really busy tomorrow
Guy – Of course… of course… it is a no! Of course… such a nice women like you wouldn’t go out with an old men like me.
Me – No… it’s not about that… it’s because… you know… I have a boyfriend.
Guy – Sure… everyone has a boyfriend… do you know what? I haven’t been with a girlfriend for ten years…I’m old… I am 51 years old… Nobody likes me
Me – Don’t say that… I am sure there are a lot of women who would like you…
Guy – No… I’m just old…
Me – No… do you know that you look younger? You do… you just have to meet the right person
Guy – No… the women don’t like old men… I’m 51… they want young and black men… That’s why I drink, do you know… I would give everything for a woman who comes… put her hand in my shoulder and said: I want you!!
But doesn’t happens… so that’s my life: eating and drinking

With his eyes completely lost in the empty space, the guy left his beer over the bar and went away.


2º- It was today afternoon. I was in the bus towards home. An office-dressed guy was sitting in front of me. Sometimes he looked at me. I arrived to my street and got of the bus. He did the same. In the street he came to speak to me:

Guy – Hi... can I make you a question? Are you single?
Me – What? Why?
Guy – Where are you from?
Me – Portugal
Guy – How old are you?
Me – Why?
Guy – How old are you? Are you single?
Me – I am 26.
Guy – Well… I am really direct person. I like you and I would like to see you again. Are you single?
Me – No
Guy – Are you married?
Me – No, but I have a boyfriend…
Guy – So… are you free tonight?
Me - Sorry but I told you I have a boyfriend
Guy – Yes… I know… Look… I am a really open person, so I don’t mind…
Me – Ok… but I mind… I have a boyfriend and I like him… sorry but I have to go…
Guy – Wait… we could just meet and if you like me more than your boyfriend we could MOVE ON.
Me (laughing and thinking that it couldn’t go any further) – Sorry but I have to go…
Guy – Just wait… So, how long have you been with your boyfriend?
Me – One year
Guy – One year… ok… so I guess you have already had sex with him…but can you tell me something… have you tried oral?

Fortunately my flatmate Judith was walking in the street and saved me…

As I said before I think there is no need of comments. The reality is stronger than any kind of theory… undoubtedly.

Fucking life!!

I am sorry I haven't written for too long! To be honest I just haven't written because I even don't have will to do it...
I HATE London the most of the times. So... everyone will make the question: why are you not going away? The answer is simple: I don't have other place where to go... I mean... I don't want to start everything again or go back to a place where I already was. So... I am just stayng here and try to get use to it. Because the truth is that I also hated Newcastle when I arrived there... and even Barcelona when I was working there. So... the conclusion is that the problem is not the place but the problem is just me and this horrible migrant life... I mean the job... the house, the non existence of money! I am looking for a new job everyday and attending to some interviews but Fucking Hell... they want me bubbly and entusiastic about the most fucking shit jobs that you can imagine. Can you believe that I went to an interview where they asked me: "Are you passionated about food", "Do you love cooking?". Of course my face was not vibrant of entusiasm and the guy said in a bit: "Ohh... don't tell me.. I can see in your face... I thibk this job is not for you". I just replied " But is it a kitchen job? I though was for to be just bartender" and he said: "Yes... but you should love food because it's what you will sell..." Como on!! Who loves so much food??? Just fucking fat people!
In other one they asked me: "Do you know that it is part of your job clean the toilets? how do you feel about that?" What do they expect? Maybe that I said... "YEAHHHH, I LOVE CLEAN TOILETS... IT'S MY FAVOURITE JOB... GIVE ME TOILETS... I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOILETS"
I am quite tired to be honest... and I can't even think that it will be my life. I really fell that the workers don't have any kind of rights... they are just treated as objects... like me in my job... Sometimes I just feel in the shop window. I have to wait for costummers and smile... always smile and be polite and be stoped when some costummer doesn't stop to look at my ass... be quiet when my boss is shouting at me speaking as he would speak with a donkey.
At least now I have a reason to be here: I am creating a performance with Pedro. We have already almost all structure and we'll start the rearsalls really soon. After that we'll try to sell it and go to some festivals. I think the idea is fucking great and if well done can in stage for long time. Pedro has some contacts because he is working in Battersea arts centre so he says that it would be really easy to produce it. I hope so! I can't wait for performing again... even if I kind of scared because I haven't done it for ages... I even don't know how to move anymore! Pedro the same! But I believe we will be fine! We have to.

Advantages and Disadvantages of working in a pub:

I am trying to convince Oscar to find a bar job! I really think he should to do it because everyone says it is quite difficult to find a store job (what he wants).
So I started to do a kind of list of the positive and negative aspects about that:

Advantages:

- You meet people every day.

- You get tips plus your salary.

- You don’t need to waste money for being out

- Your self steam will grow up because always there is a costumer flirting with you.

- You will learn a lot about drinks, so next party you will be able to prepare cocktails and all kind of drinks you want.

- You can drink and eat there whatever you want so you’ll definitely save money.

Disadvantages:

- Sometimes you have to meet people you don’t want and you can’t say “fuck you” to them.

- The tips are not as good than in a good restaurant and sometimes you would prefer don’t receive anything if instead of it you didn’t have to clean all costumers mess.

- You will loose your will for going out because you will feel at work in any other bar.

- You will loose your self steam because always there is an upset costumer or your boss shouting of you.

- You will be so tired that you don’t want parties anymore.

- The money they pay to you is a shit.

I don’t remember anything more else for now but when I’ll do I will increase the list. Anyway… work in a pub/ bar is a shit… and everyday I can’t avoid to think why didn’t I studied something useful… able to give me a proper job… anyway… now I can’t go back in the time…

Married life

One of my first impressions about London is that everyone here is a couple… and not because that it is the city of the love but mainly because is not really affordable being a single here. The rooms are so expensive that you really need to share it. And what the best solution is? It is find a boyfriend or girlfriend! It is so obvious that I even have seen some advertisments on gumtree (the best site to find a house here) where some people are proposing a relationship with someone that wants to share the room with them...
Maybe we just had come back to the old times and the marriage had started being just a contract, a kind of trade able to solve economical problems. What a weird though isn’t it?
So I am really happy because I have Oscar to share my room!
Actually, sometimes I think we have the perfect married life: Usually when I come back from work he is staying in bed waiting for me and I just can told to him all my hungers about my boss and costumers; in the morning he brings me the breakfast in bed (not always of course) and prepares me food when my legs doesn’t even allow me go to the kitchen and cook my dinner.
There is just no sex between each us but as Oscar use to say “the most of married people doesn’t do it very often”. And… of course… we have the advantage that we can be truthful between each other and speak, laugh and ask advice about ours “affairs”. Well… I guess it will be weird when one of us will meet someone… because as I said before there is no living room in this house! Well… we will see what happen!

Day off

I am free today but I have so much pain in my legs that I can not go outside and enjoy London... I just want stay in bed. I am also feeling ill because the changes of the weather. Yesterday was so hot.. unbeliveble...
Yesterday the work was not so bad... I already met some usual costummers and the other bartenders. There is a italian girl really nice... she also hates the job and just want get experience and find a better paid one (like me).
I feel I have the kind of life of Wong Kar Way characters, staying behind the bar and listen the costummers thoughts. There is a black old men all the time in the pub. He is really friendly and jockes a lot but at certain time he said something that I can not forget coz was so sad....
He asked me when would we get married. He was jocking of course... I said to him I didn´t want get married and he answered: `yes, you will... do you know why? Maybe not now... but later you will see all your friends getting married and you will be the only single... and then you´ll think: something is wrong with me.... and you go in the street and will start to look to the people and try to married them desperatly´... He was speaking about himself and it was so strange and sad... I felt pity! Not because he was telling me something new that I haven´t though about before but because he was there speaking about it with me, the girl that his behind the bar, I mean a completly stranger.
I though I would like to record all conversations Iĺl have with my future costummers and start to write a play about it... I guess it would be an wonderful artistic material...
That`s all for now...
I am sorry about my english but I guess it is getting worse every day. HERE NOBODY IS ENGLISH and aside that I am writing in a hungarian laptop.

1st place

I'm there. I'm here already. I've found a place to live. it's the cheapest and the one with most character of all we've seen. Clapton Pond E5. As an usualy intuitive person, my friends and I past by the house and thought: What a house! It's amazing, looks like the Adams Family Mansion. Then I realize that this was the place!

As we went up the satirs, door number 7 opened. Judit was very nice, she impressed me very much with her looks. Dark heavy eyliner, trainer bottoms. As she was showind the flat to us I only kept thinkin that this is it. The decor is is smothing: zebra photos on the wall, loads of clashing colours, little jars with straw like plants. An altar with some indian photo in a narrow corner that used as a living room. Room has a massive window and it's quite large.

We decided to take it emediatly but when we arrived at Pedro's, Vera had second thoughts. Anyway, later that evening she kind of forced herself in beliving this would be the right place. Pedro advised also to see other rooms in the area, witch would enlighted us by comparisson. So after one day of thinking about it we finally gave Judit the money. The next day we were moving in.

Nice and friendly people, relaxed and very helpfull. I only wish they can become our friends. Because it will be great to have some people to go out and about.

FIRST JOB, FIRST HOUSE

Everything looks dark now!!

I am so tired! Today I worked 8 hours without stop... I mean, I haven´t sit even for a second... my legs are pieces of sometinhg!

I hate that job!!!!

Ok.. let's start since beginning:

Today was my first day of work as a waitress and bartender in a pub in Camdem Town! The owner is from Morroco and I haven't seen a smile in his face during all the time. I have no contract and now I have doubts about if I'll be paid someday... He is awful and is complainning all the time! We, the slaves even don't have the right to have a break for eat or something similar! The costummers are nice but as the horrible boss is there I feel nervous and I can't interact too much with them! Tomorow I have to go again... what a nightmare. I am learning to make coktails and it looks pretty difficult! I don't know... maybe I should give up and look for something else!

Besides that I am quite afraid to come home during the night! Hackney is terrible... Here you don't feel in England but in South Africa...

About our house? Well... here I am between the zebras! But they are really nice... and of course is a privilege to live with a celebrity even if is just a sosia of her! That's true: i LIVE WITH AMY WINE HOUSE LOOK-A-LIKE. She lives from it... her job is just go to the parties to pretend be Amy and be photographed for the newspapers and internet sites... It's a new world I am discovering and I really wish I was similar to some famous person and make my life of it. What a amazing job!!

So... that's the news for now... I am going to sleep and imagine I am Adrian Mole when he did worked in Sauvages in Soho... yes he also was exploited in one of his diaries... I don't remeber which one!

London: searching for a house

We have been here for two days only! We are in Pedro's house and it's great!
Today we have been looking for house... we have seen terrible things... really awful!
In the first was living a colombian, mexican or bolivian (however, somebody from south america) family. They had a baby and we just ran away from there.
I liked the second one. It wasn't really spacious but it looked friendly with a small garden, a living room (something almost impossible to find in London) with two brazilien and other two colombian boys. Actually if I was alone I'd move there soon... but Oscar doesn't want because he didn't like the brazilian boy clothes... "he looks a fucking homofobic guy like the others shall also be". Maybe he is right... but I don't care too much about that, to be honest.
The third was the worse with a sacary polish women that even said "hello" to us!!
We got the fourth one and now... It is kinda of trend trashy... The main door is pink and they have zebras in the walls... looks nice but the girl who spoke with us was strange... She looks like Amy Wine House. Yeahh... she is a fucking copy! She has a dog called Casper... There is also a french boy there and a girl from Lituania.... there is no living room... just a place to smoke between the zebra pictures:)
I don't know... Upstairs there is a east european old men living and downstairs a arabic clothes store... I don't know why but I just feel I can be murdered there at every moment. I hope it is just an impression! I really hope so! We will see!
Vera